Stereophile: Collecting My Mail

The cute bartender and her unimpressive boyfriend opened Abbey's Pub at just after 1PM on Saturday afternoon. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a small black top. Who cares what he was wearing? I noticed them from where I stood, at my living room. Not that I was eager for them to open the bar or anything. It was just that my VPI 16.5 record-cleaning machine was waiting for me in there.

UPS had delivered it the day before. I do not live in the bar, but above it. Abbey is my landlord, and he's a good dude, happy to collect my large packages. In any case, I was anxious to get cleaning, so I rushed downstairs. The cute bartender was preparing things behind the bar, while her boyfriend stood still in the center of the room. To announce my presence, I tried to make some noise as I entered, but it seemed they didn't notice me. At the very moment I reached the bar stools, just about to ask for my package, the bartender whipped around in some kind of teary-eyed fury, and shrieked—and I mean shrieked: "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"

Apparently, I had interrupted something.

She noticed me. He walked out. Her brown eyes began to dry.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was just wondering if a package had arrived for me."

"Oh. Is it one or two?"

"One, I think."

She reached below the bar and pulled out one smallish package.

"Stephen?" she asked.

"Yup."

"This is for you."

"Oh, these are the records I was waiting for, but not what I was expecting. Is there another?"

Without saying a word, she ran out of the bar and met with her boyfriend who was waiting outside. A minute passed. She came back inside and went into a backroom. Another moment later, she emerged with a much larger box. She was obviously struggling with it. I felt bad for interrupting her afternoon, but what could I do? Records had to be cleaned.

"That's it," I said. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome."

"I hope you have a very good day."

"Thank you," she faked a smile.

As I carried the VPI back up the two flights to my apartment, it occurred to me that I could stop by the bar later that evening—talk to her, see that she was alright. I knew, however, that I would do no such thing.

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Reader Comments

Posted Wed May28, 2008, 8:17 PM — By peejay

Stephen, do you not think that maybe the people you interact with in real life might occasionally read your blog? Just hoping you don't get punched out by that boyfriend.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 12:08 AM — By Paul S.

I must admit that at first I found this blog post to be off putting but then I thought about how cool it was to have some human drama going on in this hobby that has become so "gadgety". Even though the "drama" had nothing directly to do with audio, it sure beats coming to this site and seeing people "philosophize" over the same things, yet again.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 8:30 AM — By Ron

You *didn't* buy the Gem Dandy? I'm so disappointed! I thought that thing sold itself. I'll probably buy one myself (when I can pony up the cash). :)

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 11:19 AM — By Neil

Record cleaning machine eh?? I guess the pledge dust wipes didnt work out for you? I was sold on getting them, but the fact you moved on to a cleaning machine, probably speaks alot about the wipes.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 4:41 PM — By Stephen Mejias

Stephen, do you not think that maybe the people you interact with in real life might occasionally read your blog?

Honestly�and I know this to be irrational�my hope is that all people with internet access, across the entire world, read my blog.

You *didn't* buy the Gem Dandy? I'm so disappointed! I thought that thing sold itself.

Sorry, Ron! While the Gem Dandy does seem intriguing, especially at a cost of only $149, I decided to go with the VPI for its time-tested reliability, solid build quality, and status as an audiophile classic. I'm happy with the decision. I'll be interested to hear what you and others think of the Gem Dandy, however.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 4:44 PM — By Stephen Mejias

I guess the pledge dust wipes didnt work out for you?

Well, I do think that the Pledge wipes helped to remove some superficial dust and debris, but they don't come close to providing the benefits of the VPI. During my first sessions with the VPI, however, I did continue to use the cloths as a sort of pre-cleaning treatment, simply to remove the superficial excess dust and dirt, before subjecting the VPI to my really neglected LPs.

I'll be writing more about my experience with the VPI.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 4:52 PM — By Stephen Mejias

Thanks very much, Paul. I find this to be a very interesting comment, for a couple related reasons:

First, I felt similarly, that this was a sort of unpleasant entry. For a moment, I thought that it wasn't worth posting. I decided to go ahead with it, however, because it was part of the whole story of my initial experience with the VPI, and because, again like you, I simply felt that it'd be refreshing to offer some bit of "human drama," despite it not being closely related to hi-fi.

Thanks again.

Posted Thu May29, 2008, 11:03 PM — By Vinnie R.

Hey Stephen, Keep all the "human drama" (and everything else you bring to your blog) coming... we enjoy it and sooner or later someone in upper management will realize that you should be writing for the magazine (you should have been a while ago). Young blood in this industry is a GOOD thing and you are very clearly growing with this hobby and have a plenty to contribute. Keep it coming! Vinnie

Posted Mon Jun 2, 2008, 6:38 PM — By peejay

I'm not knocking you for your stories. You capture a lot of what's great to live in a city, where human dramas swirl around you all the time, their little slices combining with yours to create all sorts of little truths. All great stuff. Nenetheless, that guy might take offense, and clock you the next time he sees you. So, just a heads up.

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