"The tree pollen," Robert says, "is crazy." Liven up New York City with pink, purple, and white flowers and it just doesn't know what to do. The island is taking a long, deep, stuttering breath, arching its weary back, raising its heavy shoulders, closing its watery eyes, and having a sneezing fit. Bless you. Gesundheit. Salute!

I've got a headache.

But I'm not complaining. It sure is beautiful outside. Later on, I'll venture out into the pollinated world in search of a suit to wear to my sister's wedding this Sunday. Who told my sister to have her wedding outdoors — in a garden — at the height of spring? Bless you. Gesundheit. Salute!

Do you have any idea of how difficult it is to find a simple black suit? I'll even take navy, so long as the thing fits right. While I wear a fairly reasonable pant size, I'm blessed with the chest and shoulders of a skeleton, and the arms of a professional basketball player. Seems they don't make jackets in 34 extra long. Who knew? And why do they have to be so damn expensive? I could buy a Pro-Ject Debut III, as colorful as spring, and add a Speed Box for the price of some ill-fitting, crotchety, static-cling-loving, 2-button Men's Warehouse special. For the price of something really nice, like that sexy Hugo Boss number, which actually fits me, I could have a Funk Firm Vector. How cool would that be? Of course, if I were to shop online, I could probably save about $1299.11, but how would I try anything on?

But I'm not complaining. It sure is beautiful outside. Anyway, it's my own fault. I should have started my search sooner. I should have broader shoulders, shorter arms. The good news is: the completed Attention Screen discs arrived! They are gorgeous. There's nothing like holding a new CD in your hands. Well, actually, it's a lot like holding a new magazine or a new book in your hands. But you know what I mean. It's a great feeling. It's nothing like downloading a file from the internet. It's so much better than that. This thing is real. I love opening a box-full of CDs and running my fingers across the spines, all so perfect and neat and new. Obviously, I haven't embraced the digital world. I don't fully understand how a person could sacrifice the pleasure of opening a new album, running fingers along edges, studying liner notes. In comparison, a digital life seems so impersonal. I imagine it does have its advantages, however. No tree pollen, for instance.

I think I'll go outside now. If I had an iPod, I'd probably stick some Attention Screen songs in it (however that's done) and listen while I walk. Bless you. Gesundheit. Salute!